What to Do When Your Books Slow Down: Lessons from My Defining Moment Behind the Chair

Every September, I hear it from stylists everywhere: “My books are slow.” The clients who used to come in regularly aren’t rebooking as quickly, and the chair that once felt busy now feels a little too quiet.

First, let me encourage you—this doesn’t mean you’re failing. Slow seasons happen to all of us. What matters is how you respond. Instead of panicking, use this as an opportunity to reflect, reconnect, and reset.

Step One: Look Back

Take some time to go through your appointment history from this past year. Notice the clients you’ve seen consistently—and the ones you haven’t. You might be surprised by who hasn’t been back.

This isn’t just about filling empty spaces. It’s about understanding patterns. Sometimes clients drift away for reasons you can’t control, but often, there are lessons hidden in their absence.

Step Two: Reach Out

Don’t underestimate the power of a personal message or phone call. Reach out to clients you haven’t seen in a while. Let them know you have some time available and that you’d love to see them back in your chair.

You don’t need to push or pressure—just extend the invitation. Sometimes that little reminder is all they need to return. And if it feels right, you can run a small special to create urgency and give them a reason to rebook now.

Step Three: Find Out Why

This is the step many stylists skip, but it’s the most valuable. If someone has stopped coming, ask why.

It can feel humbling, even uncomfortable, but the feedback you receive is gold. It helps you improve, refine your service, and strengthen your client relationships. I practiced this for years, and it made me a better stylist and business owner.

My Defining Moment

I started taking this practice seriously when I was a young mom with two little boys.

One day, my son got sick at school. I had to cancel a long-time client’s appointment so I could go take care of him. I thought she would understand—but she didn’t. She was furious. She told me if I didn’t come in and do her hair, she would find another stylist.

I was stunned. I had shared so much of my personal life with her that I thought she was my friend. But in that moment, I realized the truth: she wasn’t my friend. She was my client.

I remembered something a mentor once told me: “Clients are clients. They aren’t your friends. Some will step over your cold, dead body to get their hair done if a special occasion is on the line.” At the time, I thought that was cruel. But that day, I understood.

That was my defining moment as a stylist. From then on, I respected my boundaries, valued my role as a professional, and realized this wasn’t just a hobby—it was my career.

Three Things I Never Share With Clients

Through that defining experience, I realized there are three topics that can quietly chip away at client loyalty and respect. When we let these conversations slip into the chair, it can cost us more than we realize.

1. Money

It can be tempting to share little pieces of our financial story—especially when we feel close to a client. Maybe you’ve struggled with bills, or you’re excited about finally being able to afford a vacation, a new car, or even just a splurge. But here’s the truth: money talk always invites judgment.

If you’re struggling financially, some clients may start to question your professionalism or assume you’re not successful. If you’re thriving, others might feel you don’t “need” their tip or loyalty. Even subtle things—like talking about how many clients you’ve had in a week, or how full your schedule is—can leave an impression you didn’t intend.

The bottom line? Clients don’t need to know about your bank account or financial goals. Their only concern should be the great service you give them in the chair. Protect your professionalism by keeping money conversations private.

2. Love Life

This one can sneak in so easily. We connect with clients on a personal level, and before we know it, we’re sharing details about our partner, our kids, or even the drama in our friendships. At first it might feel harmless—even bonding—but it blurs professional boundaries.

Why is this dangerous? Because relationships are never neutral. If things are going well, clients may feel envious or disconnected. If things are going poorly, they may judge, gossip, or lose confidence in your ability to “keep it together.” And when those personal details travel beyond your chair (and they often do), you can’t control how the story is told.

Our clients come to us for an uplifting, professional experience. They want to feel cared for—not to carry the weight of our personal relationships. Save these conversations for your trusted inner circle, not your clientele.

3. Your Next Move

This lesson was the hardest for me to learn. Even if you’re just dreaming out loud about someday moving salons, changing your schedule, or starting something new, clients will take it seriously.

Here’s what happens: in your mind, you’re just sharing excitement. But in their mind, they’re already preparing to replace you. They don’t want to be left scrambling when you leave, so they make the decision for you—and find another stylist.

Your dreams and next steps are important, but they belong with your mentors, peers, or close family until you’re ready to make them official. Clients don’t always mean harm, but they can unintentionally rob you of motivation, confidence, and even momentum when they respond in ways that discourage your vision.

When it comes to your career, guard your words. Protect your energy. And when you’re ready to make a move, present it with confidence and clarity so your clients feel secure.

Safe Topics to Share Instead

Now, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk with clients at all. Conversations are part of what makes our industry special! The key is to keep things light, uplifting, and professional.

Here are some safe topics that build connection without crossing boundaries:

• Fashion trends, hair products, or new tools you’re loving

• Tips for at-home hair care or styling tricks

• Local events, restaurants, or fun things happening in your community

• Travel or vacation destinations (without tying it to your money situation)

• Hobbies or lighthearted personal interests (fitness, gardening, cooking, etc.)

• Asking them questions about their career, family, or interests

When in doubt, keep the spotlight on your client. People love to talk about themselves, and when they leave your chair feeling heard and valued, they’ll come back.

The Bottom Line

When your books slow down, don’t waste energy on panic. See it as a chance to reflect on who hasn’t been back, reconnect with those clients, and reset your professional boundaries.

Slow seasons are opportunities in disguise. They push us to grow, to refine, and to step into the pride of being a true professional behind the chair.

Remember: you are not “just a stylist.” You’re a professional, and your chair is your business. Respect yourself, respect your craft, and your clients will too.

Closing Encouragement

James 1:19 reminds us: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” What a beautiful reminder for us behind the chair. When we listen more than we speak, we create space for our clients to feel seen, while we protect our own boundaries and professionalism.

✨ Your turn: What’s one small change you could make in your client conversations this week that would strengthen your professionalism and protect your business?